


Boys in Bars

by tygermine



Series: Merthur Long Shots [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comment Fic, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Meet-Cute, OCs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 12:56:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21137057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tygermine/pseuds/tygermine
Summary: Arthur is not gay, okay? He just doesn't like being hit on.





	Boys in Bars

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old comment fic I wrote in 2013 that I found and rescued from LJ.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> PS - The Phoenix Bar is a real place. I worked there circa 2007.
> 
> Beta'd with Grammarly and a bottle of wine :)

Arthur's phone beeped for what seemed like the fifth time in as many minutes. Caroline from the Marketing Department. Again.

He sighed as he deleted the messages, not bothering to reply.

It was a classic mistake he'd made at the company xmas party, after his third or maybe sixth glass of champagne. 

He'd been leaning against the bar, chatting to Leon about their holiday plans and found himself dancing with Caroline. Extremely close and to a very dangerous song - something by Edwhatshisfacewiththegingerhair. She'd sighed happily and that should have been his warning that she'd taken a mental trip to her future and had already planned what their children’s names would be.

He still isn't sure how she got his number, or programmed her number into his phone, with a picture! 

But there you go.

Essentially, he blames this stalking nutcase on Lance. Totally Lance's fault. If Lance hadn't taken Gwen out to dinner that night, Arthur would have had a back up. A decoy. Gwen would have seen his face and expertly inserted herself comfortably between the delusional Caroline and Arthur, thereby throwing her off his scent and onto someone else. 

His phone beeped again and Arthur decided he needed some beer to drown his stalker sorrows.

The Phoenix was a split level pub just off Oxford Circus and walking distance from Cumberland Terrace. This was one aspect of its appeal. The other was that it was five steps from the entrance to Draco Industries, where Arthur worked.

He pulled up a seat in the basement, enjoying the black painted walls, framed vintage albums and the indie rock playing over the sound system. He nursed the pint of Peroni while steadfastly ignoring is phone.

He didn't even look up at the exasperated sigh that echoed from the bar. it was the rattling of the shutters opening that pulled his eyes off the watermarks on the table.

A barman was setting up the basement bar. Screwing on the tap nozzles, checking the stock and pulling out lemons and limes to cut them into wedges.

There was a loud commotion upstairs before a handful of people descended the stairs into the basement bar. they looked around for a few seconds before choosing a booth. One of the men in the group approached the bar to order.

"Hello you!"

Arthur cringed.

"Hello Caroline."

"Fancy meeting you here," she leaned against his table, waiting to be invited to join him.

Arthur shrugged. "I'm just waiting for some friends to arrive."

Caroline inched her bum closer to the seat. "Would you like some company while you wait?"

He frowned and shook his head. "No, it's fine. I think they're lost." His phone began to ring. "Look, that's them." He leapt out of his seat and headed towards the stairs.

The phone stopped ringing.

Arthur looked at the number. He didn't recognise it and pocketed his phone, torn between heading back home and staying to finish his drink. He pushed open the bathroom door instead. Artur was not above hiding in a public bathroom stall if it meant not dealing with Caroline.

It was about ten to fifteen games of Angry Birds later that he heard the bathroom door squeak open.

"You can come out now. They've all left."

Arthur stepped out of the stall and stood awkwardly in the doorway. The barman from earlier stood at the basin, hip leaning against the edge.

"Was that you who called me earlier?"

The barman nodded. 

"How did you get my number?"

The barman shifted uncomfortably and muttered something unintelligible before turning around and quickly exiting the bathroom.

Arthur stood there for a second, stunned. What just happened?

He exited the bathroom and headed to the bar, but the barman was nowhere to be found.

With a shrug, Arthur decided to be grateful for the save and turned to leave.

"Thought I'd find you here!" Leon exclaimed, coming down the stairs. "Might warn you now, Caroline is upstairs."

At Arthur's grimace, Leon laughed and led him to the table he'd occupied earlier.

The barman must have been psychic as he appeared once Leon stepped up to the bar. His eyes kept flicking to where Arthur was sitting as he poured two pints of beer for them. Leon leaned against the bar and caught his eye.

"Have you spoken to him yet?" Leon asked quietly.

"No," the barman replied. "I'm such an epic failboat."

"Look Merlin, I don't go around giving out Arthur's number to anyone. Locate your balls in those tight jeans of yours and ask him out!"

"But I'm not even sure if he likes me! I might have cocked this up already." He told Leon what happened earlier.

Leon pulled out his phone and began typing furiously. 

"What are you doing?" Merlin hissed, handing over the pints.

"Asking for back up." Leon said, stabbing at his phone. "You told Caroline downstairs was closed until later, right?"

Merlin nodded.

"Good. Tell Laura to keep them drinking upstairs."

With that, Leon paid and returned to Arthur, pints in hand.

***

As Arthur and Leon spent the rest of the afternoon drinking and talking, a DJ thundered down the stairs lugging boxes of equipment with him. He proceeded to set up his sound table, laptop, amp, cables and speakers in silence.

Soon, the noise from upstairs became a loud hum, with echoes of laughter filtering downstairs.

Before Arthur realised what was happening, the basement had turned into a nightclub for the evening. 

And there was Caroline, adjusting her boobtube while her friend held her vodka cranberry, looking bored. Caroline spotted Arthur and narrowed her eyes. Before she could take her first step towards him, Morgana pushed past her, dragging someone behind her.

Leon greeted Morgana with a peck to the cheek while Arthur frowned at the barman who had followed his sister.

"Arthur, this is Merlin. He'll be playing interference between you and Caroline for the night. Tip him well before you go home. Babe," she turned to Leon. "Let's go dance."

Merlin took Leon's vacated seat and sipped nervously at his drink.

"Interference?" Arthur arched an eyebrow.

"Pretend boyfriend," Merlin explained.

"I'm not gay," Arthur stated.

"Neither am I. But what better way to get a girl off your back than telling her you're gay and having a boyfriend to prove it?"

"She works for the same company I do. I don't want that story to get around. I have a reputation to protect." Arthur leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

Merlin held up his hands. "Fine. I'll drop it. Didn't feel like spending my one night off here anyway. Good luck with Caroline."

As Merlin stood to leave, Caroline sat herself on Arthur's lap and threw her arms around his neck. 

"I see you found your friends. How about we ditch them and find a dark corner?" She pushed her face into his neck and breathed in loudly.

Arthur's eyes went wide and for a moment there, he flailed about, wanting to dislodge the handsy woman without her falling to the floor.

"This a friend of yours, babe?"

Merlin smirked at Arthur's panicked expression. Caroline twisted around to give Merlin an evil glare.

"Did he just call you babe?" she asked Arthur, who nodded.

"Babe?" Caroline repeated.

Arthur nodded again.

"I sometimes change it up and call him sugarlips, or honey, or my big handsome knight. But that's only for special occasions. Like when I top." Merlin couldn't stop himself. It was as if his mouth had detached itself from his brain and was running at full speed.

Caroline turned to Arthur, her face puzzled. Over her shoulder, Merlin was busy mouthing 'sorry, sorry, sorry'.

Arthur wasn't sure what made him do what he did next. Maybe it was the cloying scent of Caroline's perfume, or the earnest expression in Merlin's big blue eyes. 

Either way, he gently dislodged Caroline from his lap and stood up, taking Merlin's hand. 

"I like it when you call me Sire while you do that thing with your tongue." He smiled wickedly as Caroline squeaked and scuttled away.

"Can I buy you a drink, Sire?"

"This one's on me. Thanks for getting rid of her." Arthur stepped away, dropping Merlin's hand.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, sure. No problem. It’s cool. Anytime." Merlin bit his tongue to stop talking.

"I'll see you around." Arthur headed towards the crowded bar while The Magnetic Fields played through the soundsystem.

"Where's Merlin?" asked Morgana, taking Arthur's rum and coke for herself. Arthur shrugged and ordered another one.

"I thought he was helping you with Caroline." she persisted.

"He did. Caroline is no longer a problem."

Morgana and Leon exchanged looks.

"I see you're on the rum." Morgana held up Arthur’s stolen drink.

He nodded, taking big sips of his own, new rum and coke.

"Looks like he's already slipped into arsehole gear. Let's go home." Morgana sniffed, leaving her drink on the bar.

Leon opened his mouth to say something to Arthur, but thought the better of it and followed Morgana out the club instead.

Arthur ignored them and leaned against the bar.

"Hey you."

Arthur's eyes slid to the side where an elvish young man had slipped in next to him. His hair was styled, his jeans were sprayed on and he wore eyeliner.

"You're very far from Soho," Arthur said, keeping his eyes on the dancing crowd.

Eyeliner Boy pressed against him. "I think that's what they call kismet."

Oh for fucks sake! Would everyone just leave him alone? 

Arthur clenched his jaw and swallowed the last of his drink, twirling the glass to alert Laura that he needed a refill. He then turned to the boy next to him and leaned in.

"I'm having a really bad day and the only thing you can do to make it better, is to fuck off before I lose my temper." 

As he pulled back, he saw a glimmer of fear in the boy’s eyes and knew that on top of his hangover tomorrow, he's going to feel like a complete shit for scaring the boy like he did.

A warm arm slid around his waist.

"Come on babe, let's get you home."

Merlin to the rescue.

"This your man?" The boy pointed to Merlin.

Arthur shrugged. "He calls me Sire, so I guess that makes him my man. Now bugger off."

"And that's you getting cut off," Laura replied, pulling back the fresh drink she'd just poured for him and setting it on the counter behind her.

"I'm fine. I'm not drunk." Arthur pushed back from the bar and would have stumbled if not for Merlin holding him. "Ok, I'm not that drunk," he mumbled.

"Arthur," Laura leaned on the bar, looking him right in the eye. "Let Merlin see you home and we'll see you tomorrow. I'll have some breakfast and a bloody mary waiting for you."

"Yes Laura," Arthur muttered, mock saluting her and leaning on Merlin as they stumbled up the stairs.

Arthur insisted on walking home. He claimed the fresh air would be good for him. He also claimed that rum was like mother's milk as he was half Welsh and half Irish. Merlin added that Arthur was also half-arsed.

This led to a two block argument of who had the better arse. They called it quits when they hit Pippa Middleton.

"So, are you straight? Really?" Arthur asked, hands in pockets, concentrating on staying on the pavement.

"I'm open-minded, but I do have a soft spot for hips." Merlin replied.

"Hips? I'm a bum man myself."

Merlin let out a laugh. His head was thrown back, his shoulders shook and the sight was captivating.

Arthur looked back down and headed home at a pace, Merlin keeping up with his long strides.

"This is gonna sound like such a line, but can I offer you some tea or coffee, just to say thanks?" Arthur fumbled with his front door keys.

"A beer will be better," Merlin smiled.

Arthur finally got the door open and ushered Merlin inside. It was an old Victorian conversion with three floors. The interior was all stark white, steel, marble and utterly masculine.

He followed Arthur to the kitchen, trying not to gape at the array of fancy cooking equipment cluttering the counters.

"You cook?" he asked.

Arthur laughed. "I want to, but I'm still stuck on the toasted sandwiches level."

He leaned past Merlin to grab the coffee beans when he caught a whiff of something underneath the cigarette smoke and spilt beer. Musky ginger that went straight to his groin like he'd been punched there.

He slid his eyes to Merlin, who stood frozen, watching him. The air felt thick, like ozone before an electric storm. Time seemed to slow to a mere abstract trickle.

Neither would admit to moving first, but suddenly it was a mash of teeth and lips and tongues. Heavy breaths punctuated with sloppy, rum flavoured kisses.

Arthur doesn't remember moving, but he found himself with the edge of the kitchen counter pressing into his bum, while Merlin was pressed against the length of his body. Warm, solid, utterly intoxicating.

Fingers fumbled at belts and buttons and zips were wrenched down. 

Merlin slid to his knees, licking and kissing Arthur's stomach until he reached his hips, where he proceeded to suck and bite, leaving a lovebite to remember.

He hooked his fingers into Arthur’s briefs and pulled them down before running his tongue along the solid length of Arthurs cock.

Arthur's brain fuzzed, his blood fizzed and his hips popped forward. Merlin pushed him back and sucked on the head of his cock. He licked it like it was an ice cream cone and it was a hot day on the beach.

Finally, he took his cock into his mouth and further back until his nose was buried in Arthurs pubic hair. Taking a deep breath, he swallowed.

Arthur's vision blurred.

Merlin swallowed again.

Arthur blanked out.

When Arthur came too, he was sitting on his kitchen floor. His pants were at his ankles and Merlin was sitting next to him.

He was sipping on a glass of water.

"So," he said, smiling at Arthur. "You're not gay?" His voice was wrecked.

"I think I'm going to need a little more convincing." Arthur smiled back.

Merlin leaned in and kissed him.

The End.


End file.
